It is the time of year, when the holidays are just around the corner. For some this is like a joyful, beautiful, unopened package, waiting to be experienced with gleeful anticipation! For others, it feels more like a monster, lurking and waiting, with sadness and stress. And still for others, it is a mix of both joyful anticipation and concern about how things will go! For those experiencing loss and trauma, the holidays can be fraught with stress, loneliness and something to be endured.

The first Christmas, after our son Robin died, I was pretty concerned about how “we were going to get through the holidays”, I suspected that our grief would intensify and at the same time, Christmas was coming, a time I have always cherished.  So faced with Christmas coming, I decided to set an Intention for the Christmas season. What does that mean you may be wondering. The Intention I set was ” To experience Christmas  joyfully and lovingly, while honoring our grief”. I literally sat down and mapped out a plan of how to make this happen. What do I love about Christmas, the decorations, cutting the tree, the music, entertaining, making gingerbread houses, and watching Christmas movies by the fire to name a few. What did I anticipate would be hard? Christmas Eve and Christmas Dinner. How could we navigate the challenging moments and maximize the joyful ones? For the first time in years, I bought beautiful Christmas cards and sent heart felt notes to all the people who had shown us such great love while Robin was dying, in this way we honored our grief. We went to Christmas Eve service and cried, no sobbed our way through from beginning to end. We ordered a beautiful 5 course Christmas Dinner and enjoyed every bite. I can honestly say that is was a beautiful, meaningful, joyful and loving Christmas.

5 Steps to Setting a Christmas Intention

1. Get Really Clear about what you want for your Christmas.  Try to listen to your own inner voice. We had lots of loving advice about how to spend the first Christmas without our son. The truth is we knew what we wanted and needed, we just needed to listen to our own wisdom. What do you want your Christmas to look like, feel like, taste like? Who do you want to share it with? When January 1 rolls around, what would you like to say as you reflect on the Christmas just passed?

2. Write your Intention down, thinking it is fine, but writing it down makes it more real and powerful and therefore more likely to become reality. I had a pretty little journal to write in.

Your Intention…… Christmas is……………………………………………………………

3. Make a plan to carry out your intention. Be as precise as possible. Be as realistic as possible. What do you want to do? What do you want to eat? Do you exchange gifts? Do you decorate? Do you entertain? What do you love from Christmases past? What would you like to try new?  What has caused you stress or pain in the past? How can you handle that differently? Remember there really isn’t one “right way” to do Christmas.

4. Read your intention each day. Check to be sure your actions and thoughts are supporting your intention. By reading your Intention each day, you keep it in the front of your mind and are more likely to bring it into being!

5. Make adjustments to the action steps as necessary in order to support your intention. As the season goes along, new ideas, thoughts and feelings will come to you, allow the space to adjust to them as long as they honor your Intention.

It is my sincere hope that setting an Intention for your Christmas, helps bring you the Christmas Season, from my house to yours…… Merry Christmas