My dog Ruffus continues to teach me every day. Last evening we heard a short, clear “ruff’ out of him. Ruffus doesn’t bark, I mean to say he barks about once a month. So when we heard a “ruff” from the kitchen we knew it meant something. Someone he didn’t know very well had walked passed his food bowl. Ruffus, a former abandoned beach dog is protective of his food. He has a boundary about it. Being a dog he has no words so he communicates with a “ruff”. Short, clear. concise. He happens to be textbook perfect about setting a boundary.

When we set a boundary we need to be short, clear, and concise. A lot of us are not comfortable setting boundaries, because they were not modeled for us as kids and we haven’t had much practice doing it. That can lead to long drawn out confusing communications about boundaries rather than our equivalent of “ruff”.

Let me give you an example. In my household, I need the kitchen to be clean after anyone uses it. EVERYONE in the house knows this. Why? It is because I say ” the kitchen needs to be cleaned up right after you use it”. I don’t say,” If you don’t mind could you clean it or I am sorry to ask, but could you clean it? or I hate to bother you, I am just picky but could you clean it?,” No, No. No. I say it as Ruffus does with his “ruff”.

Do you have a boundary that you need/want to set? This week, pick one. Keep your communication, short and concise like your own version of “ruff”

Next time we will look at Step 2 of boundary setting. Our actions.

Until then,

Coach Susy