I am by nature, the world’s biggest people pleaser. The People Pleasers People Pleaser. I say yes, when I want to say no, I try to keep others happy before myself, including BTW strangers and clerks in stores that kind of thing. It was/is pretty bad. I want to tell you if I can change ANYONE can change, you hear that ANYONE!
True story. Just yesterday, I went to a fabric store ( aside from garden centers one of my favorite places on earth). In the fabric store, I saw a ready-made couch throw, I liked it a lot, sort of. It was on sale 50% off. When I got to the cash, I asked the cashier if I could return it if it wasn’t right, she said yes. The next thing is she tells me it isn’t really 50% off, the ones next to it are) the butt ugly ones BTW. This would normally send people-pleasing me into a dither, most likely resulting in buying the item so as to not offend the clerk! ” In that case, I am afraid I won’t be taking it then”, I say politely! What???? Who said that and why?
I have learned to live my life with purpose and intention. Hang on, it is not all tricky and icky or hard. In this situation, I have two intentions operating. The first is that everything I buy needs to pass the heart singing test. This means it needs to make my heart sing, fill me with joy and happiness. The second is that I have a loving relationship with my money. I earn it joyfully and I spend it joyfully and I protect it. So when I was lukewarm about the couch throw and it wasn’t on sale, I honored my intentions of wanting things to make my heart sing and protect my money and said no to the purchase. This decision made my heart sing. This made any people-pleasing null and void and the best part? It was simple!
When I talk about Start Living. Stopping People Pleasing is part of it. It is about getting the life you want, not the life that others want for you or you think others want for you, but what you want for yourself! I know this may seem like a little example but add up many of these in a day or a week and they take up a lot of space.
I have a worksheet on setting intentions. Let me know if you would like a copy.
I hope this is helpful.
Coach Susy