As I write this I am preparing to make a farewell journey. Next week I will travel to my childhood home to say, most likely farewell to my Mother. At nearly 90 years old my Mother has lived a full life, one filled with children and passion and interests and it seems that her time here on earth is drawing to a close. One of my first thoughts as I realized that my Mother is dying was ” But I want more time with her”. More time. More time having my Mother alive and more time to talk to her and just more time.
When my 20-year-old kitty cat died I felt the same way, I wanted more time with the gray fur ball. And with all the people that I have loved and lost it was the same way I just wanted more time. I know someone whose spouse died at 107 when she is 103 and she said the same thing, she just wanted more time. This leads me to believe that maybe no amount of time with those we love on this earth would ever be enough. If that is true which I believe it to be, is there a solution to this question of wanting more time?
My answer is Mindfulness. No doubt you have heard that word, I sure have. I have studied Mindfulness Practice for more than two decades and am Certified In Trauma and Mindfulness but mostly I practice Mindfulness each and every day in every way that I can. Mindfulness really is about being present in each moment. The truth is we only have this moment right now. And yet so much of the time that we want so much more of, is squandered by not living in each moment, do you know what I mean? We spend time ruminating about yesterday and worrying about tomorrow but not living each moment. And then we say we want more time.
I have come to understand that for me this is the way we get more time. We get it by showing up in each moment, all in. When I take my beloved dog Ruffus for a walk I do not go on my phone, I want to walk with him and be present with him. I want to see his cute head and his wiggly bum and his nose sniffing. When I eat, I eat mindfully, I focus on each bite, each taste. each texture. when I talk to people I sit down and look at them and listen. I even practice mindfulness when doing my beauty routine like washing my face, I focus on my face and the way the cool cream feels as I apply it. I also allow myself, the best I can to feel the hard emotions, the ones we want to shove away, like grief and loss, because that is part of being present.
The formal part of my mindfulness practice comes each Morning with a Yoga Nidra Meditation and each Evening with a Yoga Practice, together they form a foundation of mindfulness that allows me to show up as present in my daily life. These formal practices give my brain a chance to settle down, they give my body a chance to move energy and they give my heart a chance to come home to me.
And this is how I get more time. I get it by truly being present with those I love and with each moment of life. And being present is how I will say goodbye to my Mother.
With love,
Susy
