The other night while out for dinner with friends, I was asked what is the main thing I do with my clients as a Life Coach! I love it when people ask me that question! I help people do the thing, I answered. The thing they want to do, the thing they have not been doing, I help them Start Living the way they want to live!
While the details of what Start Living means are different for each of us, what it means is very similar, it means living your life your way. It means following your dreams, your passions, your purpose, your way.
One of my young clients, burst out joyfully the other day, ” It feels like I am finally living MY Life.” His parents were pushing him to go to University when what he wants to do is art and videos. He found an art and video school.
Another of my clients is going on a trip to Europe, she is stopping in a town because, it feels like part of a book she is going to write.
My husband talks about switching from Engineering School to the School of Architecture and feeling like he was floating with joy.
All of these are examples of Start Living what is true for each person not for others.
So the thing is we can know what we want to do, and plan what we want to do but we have to, well do it, don’t we? It totally doesn’t matter what “it” is, we still have to do it. I just have to say that the thing I see most with my clients is not doing it. The person who wants to move more doesn’t move more, the one who wants to write a book doesn’t sit down to write, the one who wants to pay off debt doesn’t make the payments, and on and on it goes.
The reasons why people don’t do things are varied but a lot of the time it is fear. Fear that the book will suck, fear that it will hurt to walk, fear that the debt will never be paid off. Fear of what the answer will be if they make that phone call. So we anticipate a negative response and don’t do the thing that guarantees a negative response.
One way to combat fear is using what I call turtle steps. I am using them a lot these days. I have a lot on my plate with my husband’s cancer and don’t always have the bandwidth to get things done. This is where Turtle Steps come in. Do something that moves towards what you want. I have a client who wants to meditate regularly. Twenty minutes is too daunting for her so she starts with One minute. One-minute mediations are part of what she wants for her life, she is moving towards what she wants. I have to read a long article about cancer, so I find it and then read one part each day. Do you remember the story of the turtle and the hare? Do you remember who got there first?
Another way to just do the thing is by asking for an accountability partner. When we ask for someone else to help hold us to our word, we are taking it outside of ourselves and for many of us, that little nudge can be quite helpful. many Apps work as accountability partners, tracking your movement, days earning a language, and time on your devices all designed to support you in doing it.
I hope this has been helpful.
Coach Susy
