Introduction
Topics
Move Body
Build Support Team
Feel the pain
Manage Thoughts
Find Joy
Finding Meaning
Format of Course
Video from me on topic
Exercise
Homework
Quotes
Meditation
Introduction to Course
The loss of a spouse is devastating, it turns your world upside down, shatters your heart, and leaves you in a new life one that you did not choose or ask for. I understand this because in January of 2024, my beloved husband Martin died after nearly 40 years together. I felt heartbroken and lost and the pain was excruciating, it literally took my breath away.
Here is what I also know and understand. Our hearts heal when we allow ourselves to feel the pain. We can create a new life and we can experience happiness again…. I know all this because I have walked and continue to walk this path. I have found joy, laughter and meaning.
My name is Susy Giddy, I am an ICF Certified Life Coach and a Certified Grief Educator and have created this course for you, the grieving spouse. I draw on the Life Coaching Toolbox, the Grief Educator’s Library of knowledge and my personal experience with grief and growth.
I am here as your guide as you walk your own path out of the darkness to the light.
Quote:” I am under reconstruction. My loss tore me apart, and now I am under reconstruction. This reconstruction process is time-consuming and messy. Like any major overhaul, it gets worse before it gets better. It’s wearing and noisy. And it’s not orderly, either. I don’t even know what I am going to be like when the project is finished. But nonetheless, every day I put my hard hat on and get to work.”
Allan D. Wolfelt PHD From 365 Days of Understanding Your Grief
Video: https://youtube.com/shorts/qRABUlD7T1w?si=STudtVPTmxmEbToI
Exercise 1.
Let’s get started. The first thing we are going to do is figure out where you want to go on this Grief Journey. I know it might sounds baffling. I want you to imagine it is one year from now. How are you feeling? What have you done? How is the grief pain? What kind of life do you have now? Who is in it? You are going to write a letter to yourself as though it is one year from now.
Hi Susy, January 12, 2025
It is hard to believe that one year has passed since Martin died. Here you are standing at the top of Tremblant where Martin and Robin’s ashes lie, the very spot where you lay them last February. You did it girl. This thing that you were so afraid of, Martin’s death, you have survived and thrived. You spoke at his funeral, remember you stood up and spoke, you did it. You joined the ski club and went skiing. you bought a convertible, you went back to playing tennis and dancing. You have done it.
Think of all the steps you and Ruffus have taken 100s of thousands if not more. Remember walking and crying and your chest hurt so much? Still, you kept walking. How about the Grief Educator Course you took and look at you now Certified by David Kessler.
Oh, and how about all the things you learned, like starting the lawn mower, fixing the deck board, and going dancing by yourself. Remember when you locked the kitty under the deck board?
You met your pain head on, you didn’t run from it, you didn’t numb it nor did you wallow in it. I am proud of it cuz if you don’t feel it you can’t heal it.
So here you are Susy one year into this life that you did not choose and I am so very proud of you.
So the first exercise is for you to write this letter to yourself as specific as you can be and sign it.
Homework
Make a list from your letter about the things you are going to do this year. Choose one of them for this week, make a list of what has to happen in order to achieve it.
Example from my life. I wanted to go skiing to Tremblant I researched joining a ski club and went on a ski trip.