For me and many of my clients, the Coaching Thought Models are like a Magic Wand. Why? Here is the “secret” We get to choose how we feel by choosing what we think! I know that you may not believe me, you may not even want to believe me. You may, like many people actually think that things outside of yourself make you feel a certain way, good, bad or indifferent. It happens my friends to be true, we create our feelings by what we think!
Let me give you an example from my own life. I saw a friend in his car, I waved cheerfully, frowning he indicated he was on the phone. I thought oh, oh did I do something to offend my friend! Do you see how it was my thought that made me feel bad? I could have thought anything else, but me being me, I thought it was me he was upset with.
The next time I saw him, he was still frowning, turns out that on the day I saw him he was on the phone receiving a difficult health diagnosis. Do you see how it was my thoughts that made me feel bad? Not the circumstance.
So here is how the Thought Models work
We will use the self-coaching model, developed by Brooke Castillo, to learn how to coach ourselves.
Self-Coaching Model
Circumstance= Facts, events, words people say, things people do
Thoughts= Sentences in our brain in response to the Circumstance
Feeling=a vibration in our body that we feel after we have a thought
Action= what we do when we feel the emotion
Results= mirror our thoughts
So in my example:
Unintentional Model
Circumstance My friend on phone frowning
Thought I wonder what I did to offend him
Feeling Bad, sad, stressed
Action Ruminated, avoided talking to him
Result Stressed and less than
Intentional Model
Circumstance My friend frowning on the phone
Thought I hope all is OK with friend
Feeling Compassion/care
Action Give him a call to see how he is.
Result Able to support friend
So, I hope you see how I made my own stress, worry and unease by my thoughts. I also could change how I felt by changing my thoughts, this is why i think of it as a magic wand, wave and you feel better.
Try it for yourself let me know if you have any questions.
Warmly,
Susy
