Last week a powerful hurricane, her name was Dorian, marched through, wreaking havoc from the Carribean, all the way up to Newfoundland, no one and nothing was immune to her furious winds, flooding rains, storm surges, and power outages. She was a storm and that is what storms do. And as the tens of thousands of people affected by this fierce storm, emerge to rebuild their homes, businesses, and lives, each and every one of them will be guided by the first and most important part of ” Be Stronger Than The Storm” and that is BELIEF. The people who have lost their homes and property and business, need to believe that they can rebuild their lives. Imagine if they stood surveying the mess, and thought ” I can’t do this”, how would their homes and lives be rebuilt?
The exact same things apply to us when a storm hits our lives. And by the way, our storms feel a lot like a hurricane, don’t they? Often, we are going along, pretty much minding our own business, that is to say, living our lives, when boom out of nowhere appears an accident, a scary health diagnosis, a marriage dissolved, a financial crisis, the death of a loved one, to name a few of the storms life can bring our way. Just like victims of hurricanes, we need to BELIEVE, that we will “Be Stronger Than The Storm”.
‘By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it.” Franz Kafka
Let me give you an example from my own life. Nearly, three years ago, my husband and I were traveling down the highway, at 110 kilometers an hour, happily chatting about the upcoming Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, in fact, the car was full of holiday goodies like turkey, pumpkins, and wine. My husband, who was driving, turned to me and said ” I don’t feel well” and fainted in my arms, while the car hurdled, swerved, rolled over completely and stopped right before hitting a concrete highway wall. My husband’s neck was broken at C2, a dangerous vertebrae to break and I was physically more or less OK but mentally and emotionally traumatized. Our experience was very much like rebuilding after a hurricane. Our lives had been quite literally turned upside down and we needed to rebuild! And so we did. It started with our belief that we would get through it, we did not know how, or when but could quite literally see ourselves, healed, running, skiing, playing and back to our lives. We believed.
The car that was crashed was our beloved 2005, Black Toyota RAV 4, Standard Transmission. We wanted to replace the car with the exact same model. It was now 2016. We looked and looked and looked. Everyone told us we were crazy, or too picky, that it was impossible. Lots of people chuckled, as though maybe the car accident had hurt us more than we thought, lol! We searched all over the US and Canada, and sadly did not find a match. One day we went yet again to the Toyota dealer, we explained that we wanted a Black 2005 Standard Transmission RAV4, he shook his head wearily and said, not possible and we left! The phone rang three minutes later, it was Dean, the car salesman from Toyota, his voice was shaking. A man named George from PEI just came in, said Dean, he brought in his 2005 Black Standard Transmission RAV4 55,000 Kilometers…… we believed.
Susy Giddy is a Resiliency Life Coach. One of her specialties is helping people recover and thrive from adversity! Individual Coaching helps us move through the pain, get a plan and get through the adversity as quickly and easily as possible. If you or someone you know is facing something hard, please know that I can help. Reach out to see how. I can be reached at susy@cabaretelifecoaching.com or
So the day came that it was the two year anniversary of the death of our son Robin. August 21, 2017, during the Solar Eclipse, Robin left us, after living and battling brain cancer for 17 years. No parent expects to or should ever have to lose a child, but that, it turns out is part of life, part of the journey, and while we do not choose it, we pretty much have to walk it, one way or the other.
We chose to celebrate, is that the right word? Honour, remember, visit????? The two year anniversary of Robin’s Death, by hiking to the Summit of Mont Tremblant where his ashes lie. So up we trudged, hot sweaty, breathing hard and a little out of sorts. It was hard. Even Ruffus our ever-present rescue dog, seemed none too pleased about this latest trek, as he had a somewhat pleading look on his face, that seemed to say, “What now”? But up we went, after two hours we reached the spot that we had chosen two years before. A spot that has a magnificent view of the Laurentians and is above the most expert ski trails of Mont Tremblant, ones that Robin could do with ease and grace.
The Spot
We sat down with our Cold Perriers, Ruffus and Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah Chorus. And we cried and cried and cried and cried. And after a long time we stood up and we saw the glory of the view. We understood that those mountains express eternity and that they have been there long before us, before Robin and will be there long after we are gone, and they are a part of us, and Robin is a part of them. And a feeling of peace came over us, a peace unlike any other that we have experienced so far, on this path that no parent should ever have to walk.
On our way down, our steps were lighter. We discovered many plaques honoring the loved ones, of others, who had also chosen this beautiful place for eternal rest. And we understood, that we are not the only ones, who know this loss and we understood that we are all part of something bigger than us. The rest of the way down, we marveled at the beauty and the magic of this wonderful place and it came to us, that when our time comes, we will join Robin at the summit.
Our Mountain!
And later, that evening we went to our corner pub and raised a glass to our boy Robin. And that is how we walked this part of the journey.
It is my sincere hope and wish that by sharing this part of our story, others will be helped as they find their own path.
As always all the best,
Susy
Susy is a Life Coach. One of her specialties is helping others recover from adversity. She can be reached at susy@cabaretelifecoaching.com
The first time I heard the announcer boom out ” You Are An Ironman”, tears rolled down my cheeks! To each and every person as they crossed the finish line after the grueling race, those words” You Are An Ironman”, wafted through the air, amongst the thundering cheers of the crowds, who were cheering for loved ones and strangers alike as these mere mortals finished this mindbogglingly difficult race. Each of them took on the challenge of swimming, 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles and then running a Marathon 26 miles 385 yards. I know incredible to even think of, isn’t it? The finishing times ranged from just under 8 hours to just under 17 hours. Think about that, swimming, biking, running for that long. As marathoners ourselves, my husband and I are in awe of such a feat.
We spent the day happily as spectators, cheering loudly, ringing our cowbells, for all who passed. The front runners were professional athletes, there were people celebrating special birthdays, honoring loved ones, battling addictions, each athlete with a story, each one battling fatigue, fear and doubt all of the nearly 2700 participants demonstrating to themselves and to us, what it takes to hear those words “You Are An Ironman”.
As a great admirer and participant of sport, particularly endurance sports, I understand keenly the metaphor for life that an Event like the Ironman holds for each of us. How is it that we can run 26 miles 385 yards, or do the Ironman, or swim from New Brunswick to PEI? How is it that we can make it through the Storms of Life? Tomorrow will mark two years, since our son Robin died, after 17 years living with brain cancer. How did he do it? How did we do it? How do any of my clients, facing great challenges do it? How do they move through the storms, to the finish line?
What I know for sure is that in order to complete an endurance event or a challenging life event of any kind, we have to find a way to stay the course. It is like following the yellow line of a road. Imagine that if you wanted to reach your destination, you had to stay on the yellow line or you wouldn’t get there. Staying on the yellow lines means believing with all your might you will get there. Staying on the yellow line means having courage in the face of fear. Staying on the yellow line means putting one foot in front of the other, even when tired, scared and in doubt. That is how we finish a marathon, a swim, or the death of a loved one, we stay on our yellow line, no matter what.
I am sure that it comes as no surprise to those of you who know me and know my work, that I would spend my day cheering for Ironman athletes. Or that many, thousands of spectators and volunteers came out to support the athletes! It is because, each time we cheer for another, each time we offer support, each time a fellow human crosses the finish line, each time we hear the words “You Are An Ironman” it shows us that we too can be our own Ironman.
Dedicated To Robin Giddy ” You Are An Iron Man”
Robin Giddy April 2, 1973- August 21, 2017
Susy Giddy is a Life Coach. One of her specialties is helping clients get through Life’s storms. She can be reached at susycabaretelifecoaching.com
Ruffus,” It’s our last training run”, I said to my dog Ruffus, as we headed out the door for our last run before Sundays’ 10 K race. https://www.demimarathontremblant.com/ You’ve been a good training buddy, thank you. ( The truth is he has sniffed every tree, every fire hydrant and then some, over the 300 or so miles we have run together to prepare for this race), but he doesn’t need to know that.
It is always a poignant moment for a runner, the training and hard work is over, now we rest, eat, hydrate and look forward to the race, the distance which will show us, what we are made of, the uphills and downhills, the not stopping when everything hurts, each step taking us closer and closer to the finish line, to that “I did it” moment where we are all Champions!
Getting the Race Pack
During this last run, I reflect on the journey that has brought me to this point and my heart is full of gratitude. My best friend, running partner and oh yes husband Martin, with whom I have run nearly every day for 35 years, had surgery and was unable to run or train for this race. I decided to use the time of his rehab to train for the race…..I was a runner before I met him and so it has been a bit like running back to myself and it has been a real joy. Well except for when Ruffus has to stop for every interesting blade of grass.
Running with my love.
Notwithstanding the frequent stops, I discovered and rediscovered a lot in the past 8 weeks about myself and about what running means to me. I discovered for example that it is not a great idea to run with your dog’s leash around your waist, even though it seems like a good idea, there is no protection when deer pass by and your dog needs to chase them. I discovered that while running with a cell phone for safety is a good idea, carrying a cell phone in your shirt, well not so much. I discovered that 10 miles is pretty far to run with your dog and that there are a lot of trees to sniff in ten miles, a lot of trees.
I rediscovered that I am in fact a runner, this is different from being someone who runs. I love running, I love lacing up my shoes, going out the door and running, just me and my dog. I rediscovered that running is a time and a place more than an activity, it is a time and place for just me, to run, to think, and to be.
I rediscovered the metaphor of life that running holds for a runner. The uphills, the downhills, the joys and the struggles that come in running and in life. I rediscovered the strength in my body, heart, and mind as I ran uphill and downhill in the heat of a Laurentian summer. And I reflected on both the joys and losses that life has brought my way. There were moments when tears streamed down my face as I remembered the struggle with brain cancer that eventually took our son Robin and tears of joy when Martin recovered from a broken neck. But mostly tears of awe and gratitude for the fullness of life that I have lived so far.
I have decided to dedicate my race on Sunday, to my brother Chris, who died tragically at the tender age of 14, I run for him because he can’t. To my Dad who ran until the age of 88 and from whom my love of running came, and to our son Robin, who showed us all what it means to be Stronger Than The Storm. I will run with you and for you my angels, with all my love.
Ruffus will be in the support car handing out Perrier and bananas.
Susy Giddy is a Life-Long runner, her Mom would say she was born running and has not stopped since. Susy and Martin met at a race in Nova Scotia, and in fact, their first date was to go for a run. Susy has coached athletes to provincial and national level championships. Most recently she coached the boys of Inspire DR to their first 5 k race in the Dominican Republic. This will be her first time running the Demi- Marathon Mont Tremblant 10K.
Recently, my daughter said to me ” You are going to have to be Strong for this One”, and later that same day, BeStrong appeared in my inbox, both those messages got me thinking about what it means to be strong, so here goes, my thoughts for the day!
We all know that Life can bring adversity and challenges completely uninvited into our worlds. We can be going along and suddenly we receive a scary health diagnosis or drive down the highway and out of nowhere be hit, break ups, job loss, disappointments both big and small show up in our lives and call upon us to respond. It turns out in fact that we are able to choose how we will respond to anything that Life brings and it is in our response that we find our strength and in our strength, we discover what it means to be strong.
As a Life Coach, I have the enormous honor of being entrusted with the challenges and adversity that are facing my clients, and together we find ways for them to be stronger than their storm. While, the details of their stories of adversity differ greatly, their journeys through the storm does not, they all have a single common thread and that is that their strength is bigger than the adversity and in this strength is a key element, let me try to explain.
When I think about “greatness” in sport for example, I think it is a very similar quality as Be Strong in adversity. In downhill skiing, for example, the great skiers, lean into the fall line, meaning, that the very thing, that is so scary, leaning down the hill, is the thing that makes them great. As opposed to beginners, who ( quite naturally) lean up the hill, away from the fall line, away from the fear. But as skiers when we lean into the fall line, we experience the thrill of skiing, that point where we are one with gravity, our bodies, the mountain, and the snow. But we know how much to lean into the fall line, too little and we are fighting the mountain, too much and we well, crash! The great skiers know how much to lean in at any given moment.
Running races can be won by the downhills! Great runners know, how to lean into the downhills, they release the braking instinct of their quads and literally lean into the downhill by letting the hill and gravity take them down, not fighting the hill but lean into it. They know, the exact amount to let go and lean so that they find the perfect balance between holding back and falling down.
I believe that the same thing applies to Life. When adversity strikes, being strong means knowing when to lean into what is facing us so that we move through it. Like the skier, we want to resist it, like the runner we want to put the brakes on, but that is not how we move through it. We move through it by taking it on, or leaning into it enough to make progress, but not so much that we are overwhelmed and fall.
Let me show you what I mean with an example from my own life. After a car accident, two years ago, I was traumatized so much that I was scared to drive, since my husband had a broken neck and we were out in the country far from any other form of transportation, it was up to me to drive and I did not want to be trapped by fear, not at all. The problem was that driving more than 10 Kilometers ( 6.4 miles) per hour was too scary for me, just terrifying. I learned to lean into the driving and into the fear. This meant that I learned when to push the speed, literally to 15, to 20, to 25 and so on until I reached 100, well OK 110 K per hour. I learned when to push, when to stop for a rest, when was too fast and when was too slow. It took being strong, it took being great, it took looking fear in the eye and saying, I am stronger than you! The day I could drive 100 K per hour, we had a party to celebrate! I was stronger than the storm.
I hope this has made sense. I hope that the next time a storm comes into your life, you find your strength, that you find by leaning into the storm, you will pass through it.
As always I hope this has been helpful,
Susy
Susy Giddy is a Certified Life Coach. One of her specialties is helping clients pass through their storms. She can be reached at 902-989-6221 or susy@cabaretelifecoaching.com
Summer is here, and I spend a lot of time in my beloved garden in the mountain. It is, in fact, a part of the mountain in Mont Tremblant, it is full of typical garden things, like flowers, plants, shrubs, ferns, slugs, and weeds. The weeds are a good thing as one of my favorite things to do in life and in my garden is to weed. Weeding is a time for just me, ( as no one else in my family shares my love of weeding), it is a time to be outside, in the fresh air, just me, my weeds and my thoughts.
As I care for my garden, I am keenly aware of how, I get to choose what goes in her, what water, what food, what plants go in and what plants (weeds) come out. In other words, it is my garden and I get to have it the way I want it to be.
It occurs to me over and over again, how similar life is to a garden. We get to choose, what kind of life we are going to have , what people are in it, what we eat, what we do, what stays and what goes. In other words, it is our life and we get to choose how we want it to be.
This brings me back to my thought for the day! Weeds! In my garden, I decide what stays and what goes. Dandelions, for example, are considered by many to be pesky weeds, by others nutritious salad greens and still by others a base for tasty pesto! ( I have in fact received dandelion pesto recipes this summer} I am not judging whether or not dandelions are weeds, I am saying you get to choose if you want them or not in your garden. The same exact thing applies to the weeds of our minds. The inner critic, the squirrel chatter, the doubt, the fear, all the mind weeds that keep us from the joy of life. I am sure you are familiar with your own inner voice, how it sounds, what it says. It is part of being human, I have it, my clients have it, we all have it. It might sound like ” I will never have enough money”, or “I will never find the right job, mate, house whatever”. Or it might show up as fear, of trying new things when what you want is a life of adventure. Maybe you are starting a new business, and your monkey mind starts ” I will never succeed, never earn a decent living.” You get the idea right?
Well here is the thing, these are just mind weeds. ( sometimes called limiting beliefs, lol). We can get rid of them just like unwanted weeds in our gardens. Here is how:
Catch the belief. (mind weed)
Delete the belief (mind weed)
Reset the belief ( plant new flower)
Stop and delete ( when the weed argues back, stop and delete again)
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Let me give you an example of how this works. One of my Life Coaching clients, a beautiful young woman named Helena, is talented, hard working, competent and caring. She is developing an online business helping others. In coaching, we are working on her “mind weeds” so that she can build her business successfully. Here is how it works.
Mind weed says” You will never have enough clients or enough money” ( She catches the mind weed, she hears it, identifies it.)
2. She replaces the weed (belief) with a new one. ” I have plenty of clients and earn a great living.”
3. She deletes it. Kind of like when you delete an e-mail or a message, she pictures deleting it and poof it is gone.
4. When the mind weeds try to make a come back, with arguments, she stops them, deletes them.
5.Repeats this until the new belief takes root! ( sorry pun intended).
The next time you are feeling less than you want in the garden of your life, stop and see what mind weeds you can catch. Remember, it is your life you get to choose what stays and what goes.
As always, I hope this is helpful.
Coach Susy
I am a Life & Resilience Coach helping people to recover from adversity, discover their dreams and find the passion to live their best life! I can be reached at susy@cabaretelifecoaching.com
The first time my husband Martin and I ever stepped foot in the Dominican Republic, we fell in love, as we had with one another so many years before, it was love at first sight. We loved the green of the palm trees, the warm tropical air, the music, merengue, bachata, and salsa, the people, everything about it made us feel alive and excited. Our love for the Island grew and grew, from our first visit in 2002, to buying our first condo in 2004, to the night of June 21rst 2009, the night of what is no to us, the famous Pinky Swear.
Every time we went to Cabarete, we left so sad, wishing we could live there, wondering why we were living a life in Halifax, that no longer was what we wanted, in many ways. All, we did was work, literally from dawn and way past dusk. On the rare afternoon off, we went skiing, I remember being so proud that I could get off the ski lift and talk on my cell phone to the Tennis Club, which we owned. Stress levels were through the roof, our sleep was suffering, but mostly, it just wasn’t what we wanted or how we wanted to be living. We would promise ourselves that we would move to Cabarete, but almost as soon as we landed back in Canada, our life would sweep us back up into the familiar routine, and we would think wistfully about Cabarete and wonder if it had all been a tropical fever kind of a dream.
But on the night of June 21, 2009, sitting at our favorite restaurant on the beach of Cabarete, something was different, I think we knew, before we knew it, that the change was coming. We linked pinky fingers and took rather solemnly the Pinky Swear, ” We Susy and Martin Giddy, will do everything in our power to follow our dream of moving to Cabarete, by October 21, 2009″. We don’t know what happens if you break a Pinky Swear, and we sure were not about to find out!
The next four months were a whirlwind. We hired a coach immediately upon our return, to help us accomplish our dream. The to-do list of practicalities, a business to be sold, the family house to be dealt with, finances to figure out was enormous and so were the emotions of letting go, not to mention a lifetime of stuff to sort through. Decisions, choices, determination, led us through the process.
On October 21, 2009, Martin, two kitty cats and I landed in Cabarete, to begin living our dream. We did it! We smiled, with our feet in the sand at the same restaurant, where we had made the Pinky Swear 4 months before. We are Home!
Susy Giddy is a Life Coach. One of her specialties is helping people make their Dreams come true! She can be reached at susy@cabaretelifecoaching.com
Becoming resilient or developing the ability to bounce back from adversity is a bit like becoming physically fit! In fact it could be described as emotional fitness. Just like we don’t become fit and stop working out, we don’t become resilient and call it a day. It is a journey, a way of life, a lifestyle! For me, a vitally important piece of Resiliency is enjoying Simple Pleasures. For me that often involves my beloved Ruffus. It seems that no matter what is going on in my life, enjoying the simple sight of my happy dog, makes me happy and more Resilient. It is my pleasure to share with you, this simple story about a simple pleasure.
Ruffus
One day Ruffus, our extremely handsome, slightly scruffy, short Iris Wolfhound rescue dog from the Dominican Republic, decided to pay a visit to his little French friend Gabelle. Ruffus, with one ear up and one ear down, truly looks as though he should be in the movies, he lives on Chemin de La Falaise and Gabelle, one street away on Dicaire. It is also a short romp through the hardwood forest, but on this particular day, he takes the people route! Ruffus’s native language is Spanish, however, he listens or doesn’t listen in Spanish, English and French with equal measure! His years abandoned on the beach, along with his breed’s natural ” Independent streak” ( a politically correct way to say stubborn), combine to make listening, well, not his forte! See Ruffushttps://allaboutresiliency.com/ruffus-the-rescue-dog-or-the-rescued-dog/ for more on this story.
Gabelle, a native of Quebec, is well frankly so adorable, you just want to squeeze and hug her. She is still a baby at not quite a year, a joyful Golden Retriever, whose joy and enthusiasm is contagious. She bounds out of her house, down her tree-lined driveway, her little legs moving almost faster than her body, she plops down with her cute blonde face, wagging her tail and just truly puts cuteness into another stratosphere. I’d like to take a moment to describe her legs, it is a little tricky to explain! Gabelle’s fuzzy legs, make circle like motions as she runs, kind of like little windmills if you can picture what I mean. Her listening skills far exceed Ruffus’, I must say I hope some of it rubs off on him.
I really wish you could see them together, their individual cuteness combines to make the cutest canine couple ever! They are exactly the same size, 60 pounds each, the same color, and even though Gabelle’s coat is beautifully soft and Ruffus’coat is more a scruffy mess, they look very similar. When they play their doggie games, like “go around in a circle as fast as you can”, it gets difficult to tell who is who.
Well anyway, yesterday Ruffus decided to go see Gabelle. As usual, he bounds curiously up her driveway and she flies/runs with her little legs doing their windmill thing, down to meet him. They go around in a circle saying hi with a doggie greeting, that involves sniffing tails and circling and bowing. And then side by side these two look-alikes take off to see what they could see or more likely, smell. There was something about their investigations that put me to mind of two mischevious kids, up to something, not sure what, but possibly not good. It was something about the way they took off, together, same pace, same noses to the ground and looking back over their shoulders ever so slightly, signaling they knew exactly what they were doing, but not caring! Neither one listened to their Moms calling them to return. Our” Viens ici Gabelle” and “Ruffus come” were met with, well absolute ignoring. Up around the beautiful green house, nestled in the mountain, with a beautiful wreath lit with white mini lights, back down the other side they came, now doing ” the doggie race around the tree as fast as we can thing”, blurring themselves beyond recognition.
“Let’s go see Wally the cat”, I swear I could hear Ruffus say as they headed towards Kim and Pierre’s charming yellow house, complete with a soft ginger kitty named Wally. Wally is described as being the driveway greeter, here’s why. Wally, who has beautiful orange and white fur with remarkable markings, greets people at the end of his long driveway, he runs up, rubs the visitor’s legs, rolls over for belly rubs and purrs charmingly, all designed, I think to say ” Bienvenue”.
Something was telling me that a visit to Wally by Gabelle and Ruffus might not be the best idea ever, however, there was a momentary reprieve from that concern as Gabelle discovered a body of water. Maybe body of mud like water is a more accurate description. Her joyful self walked straight into the thick black muddy substance as her Mom and I looked on with horrific astonishment, watching as her fuzzy white paws turned black. With equal enthusiasm she sat down in the muddy gook, just as she was considering her next move which appeared to be rolling in it, Wally appeared in his driveway, this, of course, required immediate attention by the two pals, who no longer looked identical, by the way, because although Ruffus was still scruffy white, Gabelle was now a black and white dog wearing black socks.
The driveway keeper Wally, being sensible, took his leave in a dignified, cat-like way as he saw the white dog and the black and white dog approaching. The two buddies looked sheepishly over their shoulders at their Moms and disappeared up the mountain behind Wally’s house, presumably heading for the deer feeding station, oh lord! Gabelle’s Mom had to leave to do the soccer run, so Gabelle’s Dad took over the” get the dogs effort.”
“Where are they?” asked Gabelle’s Dad. And from over yonder, the two doggie friends, just returning from their adventure, appeared back in sight, walking happily, side by side, tongues hanging out with exertion, and for all the world, appeared to be smiling!
Gabelle and Ruffus, live with their families, nestled in the beautiful Laurentian Mountains of Quebec!
Susy Giddy is a Life Coach who lives in Mont Tremblant, Quebec and Cabarete, Dominican Republic. One of her specialties is helping people develop Resiliency. She can be reached at susy@cabaretelifecoaching.com or 902-989-6221
As I was lovingly, working/playing in my garden this morning I started thinking about, self-help, self- improvement, and self- development, something was niggling at me about these concepts, but I wasn’t sure what it was or how to express my concerns. So I stumbled about amid my impatiens and lobelia and yes slugs.
Here then are my thoughts. I love my garden, it is a little bit whacky, because it is quite literally the side of a mountain, it has slopes that border on 90 degrees, deer who breakfast, lunch and dinner on anything and everything, it has beautiful trees, and spectacular granite outcrops, and smells of sweetness. It is in a word perfect! Simply put, I cherish my garden.
I take care of my garden, by watering it, feeding it, planting just the right plants that accentuate her beauty, I do slug patrol ( actually my husband patrols for slugs for me), I stand and admire her and I spend time with her, this is how I cherish my garden. I help, improve and develop her, but I do not try to change what she essentially is, which is a mountain side garden, because then she wouldn’t be my mountain side garden, would she?
I wish we humans, would cherish ourselves in the same way! This would mean, seeing our essential beauty, our characters, our selves in a loving kind way. We would accept our “me- ness”, we would take care of ourselves with good water and good food, we would help ourselves, maybe we would remove weeds from our lives that don’t serve us, we would develop ourselves by learning new skills and ways of being in the world. But like my garden, we would not try to change ourselves by changing who we are essentially.
I hope you don’t mind if I share a personal experience of this. I was born with strong athletic legs, particularly calves. As a kid, I imagined that they were the size of a barn ( not a baby barn, a full-sized barn, mind you). I wanted nothing more than to have small delicate calves like the entire rest of the world. As a teen, I wanted the long, slim legs of all the models I saw in magazines. I believed that changing my legs would make me more, more beautiful, more like everyone else, but more different than I was. Somewhere along the way, my understanding of my legs changed and where once I would have done anything to change them, I now cherish them. My strong legs have taken me on thousands of miles of running, countless games of tennis, decades of skiing, beach walks and supported me all my athletic life. I cherish them. I take care of them by doing yoga to keep them supple, by staying hydrated to protect the muscles, by listening when they need to rest and by wearing proper footwear so they aren’t overstrained, but at no time ever do I wish they weren’t my legs!
So my thoughts about self-help, self- improvement, and self-development are now clear. If we are seeking self-help, self-improvement, and self-development, as tools to nurture and cherish ourselves, we are honoring our true self. But if we are seeking them to change ourselves from that which is our essence, it becomes an act against the self and a form of self-rejection, rather than self-love and self-acceptance and that is never a good thing.
As always, I hope this has been helpful.
Coach Susy
Susy Giddy is a Life Coach. One of her specialties is helping people develop Resiliency. She can be reach at susy@cabaretelifecoaching or 902-989-6221
One thing about a skunk—once you recognize the markings, you know things are gonna stink.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich, Making Wishes
As an animal lover, I really don’t want to say anything negative about skunks, I actually think they are kind of cute. Apparently, even other animals stay away from them because, well because they are skunks and you know they stink, badly.
Some people in our lives behave like skunks. We think they are cute and loveable and then apparently out of nowhere, they let off there horrible emotional stink and poof it lands on us. Human skunk smell feels like blame, criticism, negativity and pretty icky. But here is the thing once we know this about a skunk, or a human skunk, we know they are going to stink. So if we don’t like the stink, there is only one answer. Stay away from Skunks, the animal type or the people type. The End.
Susy Giddy is a Life Coach. One of her specialties is helping people become more Resilient. She can be reached at susy@cabaretelifecoaching.com
