by Susy Giddy | Sep 4, 2018
The Rose
On the one year anniversary of our son Robin’s Death, we held a ceremony of life, surrounded by friends and family, we sang, we cried and we released his ashes into the sea. And we had a Champagne toast to him and to Life.
I thought we would feel better, after all, everyone says “The first year is the worst”, right? Well. I felt worse, and so did my husband. I was sadder, madder, and more down than I had been since before Robin died, which frankly is saying a lot, this year was not exactly a cake walk, after all. To tell you the truth, I was getting worried, that my grief was turning into depression.
Robin’s Aunt Shirley, lovingly wanted to buy a White Rose to honour and celebrate Robin’s life and memory. I kept thinking ” But, I don’t want to be reminded every day of this pain”.
What was I to do? I sort of staged an Intervention for myself,and my husband ( Always the Life Coach). I MADE myself go do some fun things, things that fueled my soul and spirit, like dancing and seeing new things. I MADE myself reach out to others, I was patient with myself, I got plenty of sleep, I started two new exercise classes. I took care of myself.
Ten days went by…..” Let’s go buy Robin’s Rose today”, I said to my somewhat surprised husband. ( The last he had heard about the Rose was that seeing it would cause me pain). It is time to see the Rose, not through the lens of pain, but through the eye of love and joy. To see the rose as part of the garden, part of what makes up the whole of the garden, but it is not The Garden.
In the same way, our loss and grief is only a part of our lives, it is a part of who we are, but it dos not define us. We get to choose everyday what defines us. We choose this day to be defined by the joy, by the beauty, and by the love.
And so now, I can sit and enjoy with a loving heart the beauty of Robin’s Rose
And the greatest of these is love………
by Susy Giddy | Jul 18, 2018
Acts of kindness for many people turn out to be an essential part of building Resiliency! I observe on a daily basis all the acts of kindness big and small that take place everyday, it makes the world a better place and is as good for the giver as the receiver. See Small Acts/ Big Changes Cabarete for daily examples! I think of Resiliency as being the mindset, set of skills, strategies that allows us to live our best lives in the face of whatever life brings. We all know that life can be both beautiful and also for all of us life brings it’s share of adversity and challenge. So whether we are building Resiliency to ride through bumps, like small disappointments or frustrations, or whether we are making a comeback after a major set back like a death, divorce, accident and serious health or financial issues, we all need to be building up our Resiliency bank!! A bit like deposits and withdrawals to our bank account in a way!
I have the good fortune of living on the beach in Cabarete, Dominican Republic. As all of us, I am horrified by the plastic situation in our oceans, so each day, when I am walking Ruffus, I pick up plastic as I walk along the beach, in fact, I realized recently, I pick up at least 500 pieces of plastic a day or 3500 a week!!!! I do it because, I am genuinely concerned about the oceans and the plastic and the fish, whales, turtles and other sea creatures suffering from the plastic in the ocean water. This act of kindness is building my Resiliency, my ability to recover from the death of our son, from a near fatal car accident and other adversity I have faced the past couple of years. It may sound a bit odd to you that picking up plastic is helping me recover from the death of a son. It works something like this, when I am out on the beach with Ruffus and my pick up bags, I am totally focused on finding plastic and particularly on keeping it from going back into the sea, where a creature might eat it. With each piece of plastic I pick up, I am relieved that at least, that one will no longer harm the ocean, and I am happy to be helping even in such a small way. It feels like with each piece of plastic I pick up, my heart heals a bit more.
I am awed by the Acts of Kindness that I witness each day. Most of them done in a quiet unassuming manner, not done for recognition or bravado, but genuine acts of kindness that appear to originate from a keen desire to help or be kind to someone or something other than themselves. One of my neighbors, a quiet chap, gets up early every day, walks to an abandoned neighborhood and feeds the dogs and cats that have no homes, he does it every day! He recently asked me to go with him to see some puppies he had found, he was so proud and happy. It appears to me that this act of kindness brings him great joy and helps build his resiliency.
The other day, my husband who was limping with a sore foot, came in exclaiming quite joyfully. “Guess what”? He was thrilled because Jose, our security guard had seen him limping while carrying a heavy object and Jose carried it for my husband, That simple act of kindness spread joy, gratitude to all of us.
It turns out that research has shown, according to Dr. Laurie Santos PHD Yale University, ” Research shows that happy people are motivated to do kind things for others”. Feeling happy is an especially important piece to building Resiliency. It helps us remain balanced in the face of challenges. So if the challenges are a withdrawal to our sense of well being, feeling happy, which can be increased by Acts of kindness to others are deposits. How great is it that by doing small acts of kindness each day, we build our own happiness, the happiness of others and Build Resiliency? Try it for one week, an act a day or seven in one day! Have fun!
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by Susy Giddy | Jun 5, 2018
Resilience, What is it anyway?
Many of us kind of know what it means, sort of but not exactly. We see it in others. Ruffus demonstrated it while looking for a home, Jim Mullan showed it when learning to walk after a spinal cord injury. The stories that will be posted on this blog are all of people of have developed great resilience in the face of adversity, we celebrate their courage, patience and determination.
Here from Wisdom Commons is a definition that really resonates for me.
“Resilience is the ability to work with adversity in such a way that one comes through it unharmed or even better for the experience. Resilience means facing life’s difficulties with courage and patience, refusing to give up. It is the quality of character that allows a person or group of people to rebound from misfortune’s, hardships and traumas”.
As, I continue on my journey from a near fatal accident, the death of our son, I find great comfort in this quote as I find the courage, determination and patience to live a life filled with love and joy along side of the adversity that comes my way! It is my sincere hope that it offers comfort and inspiration to you as well.
by Susy Giddy | May 30, 2018
Meet Susy Giddy. Originally from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Susy and her husband moved to Cabarete, Dominican Republic in 2009. Susy is the founder of Cabarete Life Coaching and her strength is helping people live bravely and with courage -especially when life throws them lemons 
🍋. In 2016, Susy and her husband survived a car accident that radically changed their lives. She understands the power of making brave choices when you experience challenges. You can hear their story on the Finding Bravery podcast 
🎧 Today, Susy is making these Brave Soles black Avarca look even more classy 
🍸
by Susy Giddy | Apr 9, 2018
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it” Nelson Mandela
During the first days and weeks after our car accident, I was feeling overwhelmed! I was in pain, terrified, traumatized, my husband had a broken neck, and countless medical appointments and I was so afraid! I couldn’t see how this would get better or how I would make it. I knew one thing, I could call my Life Coach, and I knew she would help! I felt better the second I called her, she listened, she soothed, together we developed a plan for me, she in fact helped me bring my “A” game to the journey from my life being literally turned upside down by the car accident, to life being amazing.
My clients come to me, with lives also turned upside down, by any number of circumstances that life can come our way, domestic violence, divorce, disappointments, financial hardships, job loss, illness, loss of loved one and so on. The stories may be different, but all have in common a deep sense of loss and overwhelm, coaching helps to find courage, to triumph to be resilient.
It is an honour and a privilege to be trusted with my clients stories, I work with each one to support, soothe, and help them find ways to master the fear, to bounce back and forward from whatever has come their way!
by Susy Giddy | Apr 5, 2018
Life is amazing. Then it is awful. And then it’s amazing again, these words by L.R. Knost describe my life perfectly, over the last 18 months, and maybe more! Let me tell you the story of the last 18 months and the birth of All About Resiliency.
On August 1, 2016 my father died. I did not understand before his death, how sad it would be for me, how much I would grieve for him, how much the little girl inside this grown woman would miss her “Daddy”. Neither did I understand how much, it would come to mean to me to support and love my Mother through this terrible loss of her mate of 60 years. It all seemed quite surreal, in the church at his service, I knew it was for my Dad, but it all seemed impossible because, my Dad wasn’t supposed to die.
The next few weeks I spent somewhat in a blur, of grief, sadness, processing and daily long chats with my Mum. The blur and ache were starting to lift, the awful was starting to fade, can’t really say back to AMAZING, but on it’s way.
Early in the evening, on October 5, 2016, two months after my Dad died, my husband, who was driving 65 miles per hour turned to me, said” I don’t feel well” and fainted in my arms. The car swerved down the highway, I was positive we were going to die, the car turned completely over land back on it’s wheels and stopped just before hitting a cement bridge. It was a miracle. My husband had a broken neck, my physical injuries paled in comparison to the nightmare of the trauma, but the gratitude at being alive carried us over the next months of recovery, rehabilitation and finding a way back out of awful to amazing.
Just as the pain was receding from my husband’s neck, and the trauma and fear was starting to recede from the accident, we received THE call, our son Robin, who had been living with a deadly form of brain cancer, was deteriorating rapidly, so we were called to his bedside, unable to walk or talk, we stayed with him as finally the brain cancer has it’s way and took him from us.
It was at this point, that my BFF and Coach suggested that my story needs to be told, not so much of the hard things that have come my way, but of the intention to go from AWFUL, to AMAZING.
It is my heartfelt desire that these words bring comfort, hope and help to others.
by Susy Giddy | Mar 29, 2018
Even after three years, it is not easy to tell the story of what happened to us that fateful morning in May! But tell it I must, for by not telling it, I would be unable to share one of the great love stories of all time! Warning….it contains violence……
I cheerfully packed ice cold bottles of Perrier into the little trunk of our bumble bee yellow, scooter and hopped on behind my love…. We were heading for a little beach road on the other side of town, to measure our running route to be sure it was as far as we thought it was, if you are a runner you know what I mean! I loved tootling along with my arms wrapped around Martin’s waist! It was so peaceful and so innocent, just the two of us enjoying a simple pleasure in our most beloved Cabarete, Dominican Republic, to which, we had followed our dream and moved to several years prior. “I feel as safe and comfortable here as I would be tootling along in Nova Scotia” Martin observed, words which would haunt us later.
His words were still hanging in the air, when suddenly two bandits appeared on a motorcycle, put a pistol to his head, pulled me off the scooter and began their attack. One guy pulled and tore at Martin trying to get his wedding ring and architect’s ring, tearing his clothes while Martin fought back. My blue eyed attacker, pulled out a large knife and tried to cut off my ring fingers to get my wedding rings which would not budge in the tropical heat, frustrated he threw me to the ground and beat me with his pistol……I screamed wildly… I remember wanting it to be a bad dream but it wasn’t and I also remember thinking we would die…..Seeing his wife attacked like that, made something click in Martin…. He started shouting, and waving his arms to get them to leave me alone and suddenly it was over….we held each other…. It was over, we held each other it was over, we were alive, had all our fingers and it was over……
How was I supposed to know that this day would be any different than all my other days? Since, I was born last August, I spend each day, much like any other dog, eating, sleeping, running on the beach, getting pats on the head, doing my private investigations of situations that occur on my beach and of course smelling to see what is up. My owner makes sure I get plenty to eat, I hang around with him, I run on the beach with him……he loves me to pieces and I love him right back.
I cheerfully headed off to do my investigations of the beach, I smelled something odd coming downwind, couldn’t quite make it out. A guy never knows what happens on the beach, I mean horses, dogs, fisherman, not to mention the kiters, ahh the kiters they whiz by so quickly and I have to say I love nothing more than chasing them. So when I returned home. My owner wasn’t there, my place wasn’t there, in my place was a cranky rottie. I kept trying to get in but my friend the guard kept telling me to leave…. What the heck is going on I thought… where is my person and why is that dog here and then with a big thud something hit my back…. The pain and oh no now I can’t wag my tail…. I trotted away and spent the night next door at least there was a pallapa..
The attack was over, but “it” was far from over, in fact “It” had just begun…. The physical wounds would heal, leaving scars that paled in comparison to the fear, the grief, the anger, the nightmares… the fear of leaving the house or running on the beach or even of staying in this country…. The face with the blue eyes that looked at me, the sight of the knife….. at the same time, we were grateful beyond words for being alive…… we knew it would take time, we were not going to allow this to ruin our dream of living here, and we knew we would heal but we did not know how…. We did know that for nearly every day of our close to 30 years together we have run together…. So that seemed as good of a place as any to start to recover.
Well, I still didn’t know where my owner was, many nights and days had passed, I was getting pretty hungry and kind of dirty and quite frankly, scruffy looking, oh no I thought I am starting to look like a beach dog, oh no not that! I found out that around the corner the hotel had lots of garbage that I could eat, and the villas had a sprinkler going so I could get a drink. I was trying to find my owner but not having much luck, I didn’t dare return to my house, my tail still didn’t wag and the guard was certainly not my friend…. Good thing for the pallapas next door. One day while doing my investigations up the beach, I saw something, at first I did not know what it was, and then I knew…. It was my new people, a lady and a man and they were hurting and they needed me…. Be patient I thought be patient..
The first day back at running on the beach we were terrified, let’s just go slowly and not far OK. “ You OK with this Sweetie” I asked Martin. Rather curtly he nodded yes. I see, I thought, then why are you trying to run with a concealed machete, but in a rather rare moment of silence, I kept my thoughts to myself. And off we went, up the beach Martin with his machete in his running shorts and me with my heart in my throat. Every palm tree made me jump, every person on the beach made me twitch. We only got as far as the hotel about one kilometer away,” it’s too scary sweetie let’s go back” I said. And as we turned I noticed a dirty, scruffy dog, drinking from the sprinkler…. He had beautiful but sad Ambar colored eyes!
Enzo says that we dogs don’t have speech so we must rely on gestures, OK I get that… but how on earth can I use gestures to convince those people, pretty sure I smelled cat on them, so to convince those cat people that I, scruffy, beach dog me, am their new family member??? Oh this is hopeless!!! Wait, I have a plan…… EVERY time they go for a run…. I will go with them, they will start to feel safe, that’s it! And every time they come to a pallapa, I will greet them, OK I may have to look sad and pathetic but it is for a good cause….. Thanks Enzo. You are the best!
In the following weeks, I spent a lot of time under a pallapa, grieving and processing. The scruffy beach dog appeared every day, with his sad eyes and pathetic appearance I gave up shooing him away, in fact I started bringing food, water, bones and a brush to take care of him. Somehow taking care of him helped me heal! The god’s honest truth be told, I started talking to him, telling him things about the attack and being afraid and he looked at me with his kind, gentle Ambar eyes and seemed to get it and “it” started to go away. When Martin and I went for our runs, we noticed that he came with us, and we noticed that we ran farther and farther and the palm trees weren’t so scary anymore and the dog wasn’t so scruffy anymore.
One morning, we met on the beach, Martin and I and Ruffus, { did I mention we named him Ruffus} we were walking and talking and Ruffus was bouncing and smiling! We stopped to look out at the ocean, Ruffus gave me his paw, “ Ruffus” I said solemnly…… Will you be our dog?
So from that day forward, three years ago Martin, Ruffus and I have been together more or less non- stop. Many people comment on how lucky Ruffus is to have been rescued by us, But we know the truth .It was Ruffus that rescued us!
Note, if you would like to rescue a dog, or support rescue missions, the list below is of groups who are dedicated and passionate about helping animals.
Moringa Mission
Dogs and Cats of the Dominican Republic
http://www.dogsandcatsdr.com/
Cocomutt Shak Dog Rescue
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1622582258066043/
