Create the Holiday Season of your Dreams.
I mean Tis the Season to be Jolly and Hohohos. Yet….. If that is true then why do so many of us find the season to be stressful, some of us dare to say “we hate” the holiday season, while others grin and bear it. I mean it appears that for many of us, Tis the season to overspend, overeat, over-drink, and over-stress, almost the Polar Opposite of a Christmas Card Christmas.
So I learned a new word this morning from one of my Life Coaching clients. Clusterfuck. My client used that word to describe her experience of Decembers. Man oh man I said what a word. I mean doesn’t it just describe her feeling of stress, overwhelm, and exhaustion perfectly? As the session went on we found out that she wants her Decembers to be full of joy and harmony. So we set to work uncovering what the obstacles are for her between clusterfuck and harmony.
I love Christmas, actually love it. Everything from the Christmas Parade, to cutting our tree down to, the annual watching of a Christmas Carol. Last year on January 2, I said to my husband I don’t even feel like we had Christmas. No cutting the tree down, no Christmas Carol, no carol sings nothing omicron put an end to all that. So this year I am seeking doing. Doing all the fun things that bring me joy.
So here is the thing if we keep doing the same thing we get the same results. The funny thing is, for a lot of us we keep doing the same thing during the holidays, getting the same results and hoping for the best next year. Sorry to say hope is not a plan.
You know how they always say you need a map to go on a car trip or I guess now you need a GPS? Well, it is kind of like that Creating the Holidays of Your Dreams. You need to know where you want to go, that is to say, what does the holiday of your dreams look like, feel like smell like?
Create Your Dream Holidays
Step 1. Imagine it is January 2 and you are telling your friend about the Holidays of Your Dreams. This is called Precapping. Talking about the future as if it has already occurred. this helps you become more aware of what you want and allows your mind to start working on getting it for you. Is there a word that describes how you want your holidays to be?
Let me give you an example. One of my clients wants to have Christmas and not overspend on her daughter. So she wants to get to January 2 with her budget honored and the daughter happy. That is the holidays of her Dreams
Step 2. So when we go on a car trip we plan routes to get where we want to go, right? We avoid obstacles. Traffic, bridges, icy roads that kind of thing. Same thing with Creating the Holidays of Your Dreams. Plan your route.What do you need to do or not do or how do you need to be to get you where you want to go to Your Holidays of Your Dreams.
My client is going to establish her budget, communicate with the daughter the parameters of gift-giving this year, and ask for a wish list from the daughter. This is how my client is going to achieve her goal of giving a beautiful gift giving to her daughter while honoring her budget.
Step 3 Identify the obstacles. What is going to get in the way of you experiencing the Holidays of Your Dreams.? Write them down.
So my client believes that her daughter has to have all the things on her list. My client believes that her daughter has to receive as much as her friends receive, my client believes that it is her job and in fact, her responsibility to ensure that her daughter has the best Christmas ever. My client believes that this is part of what makes her a good Mom. These are her obstacles
Step 4 The Obstacle Buster! The Magic in Creating Your Holidays of Your dreams. So much of what we think is an obstacle is our thoughts. Just our thoughts. We think our thoughts are facts but they are just thoughts, in fact, we have upwards of 60, 000 thoughts a day, and we don’t notice most of them. When we find ourselves living less than we want to be, we absolutely need to check in with our thoughts because thoughts drive feelings, which drive emotions which drive actions and results. So pick an obstacle that you have to getting the Holidays of your Dreams and complete the first Thought model. It is called the unintentional model. Now complete the Intentional model. this is how we bust up models. Here is what I mean.
Thought models
Circumstance The facts of the situation
Thought The thoughts you have about the situation
Feeling/emotion The feelings you have about the situation
Action(s) The actions you take or don’t take
Results The results
There are two models. The first is called the Unintentional Model. This is the one that we just think without well thinking about it. The second is the Intentional Model, the one that we do the work to get the one that serves us well
Client Example
Circumstance Gifts for Daughter
Thought I have to buy her everything she want for her to have a good Christmas
Feeling Pressure, Stress, Panic
Action Over spends and buys
Result Financial stress and less than a happy holiday
Intentional Model
Circumstance Gifts for Daughter
Thought I am going to choose what I want to give her from her wish list within my budget.
Feeling Excited, Content, and Curious
Action Shops for gifts within budget
Result Client honors budget and Daughter receives gifts
So this is how we Create The Holidays of Your Dreams. To recap. We identify what we want, figure out the route or path to get it, identify the obstacle, and remove the obstacles using the Thought Models.
It is my heartfelt wish that this serves you to Create the Holidays of Your Dreams!
Most Warmly,
Coach Susy