Wanna know why I bought this pretty dress? To CELEBRATE, yep, to celebrate six months of LIVING wine free. What a day! And to make it all the more special, I was driving down the street of our village in Quebec, wondering how to celebrate when poof, in the window of a Quebec design shop was this dress, and the rest well you know…..I ran in and bought it and ran home and put it on, cuz being wine free is just that huge for me!
Where to start the story is always hard to know, isn’t it??? I suppose like with many drinkers, my relationship with wine began innocently enough. The love of my life, my husband Martin, and I would sit down after busy days raising a family, running a business and architectural practice, and connect over a glass or two of wine. It was a lovely time of day, or evening really, always around 10:00, kids in bed, talking over the day and so happy to be with one another. I might not be writing this if the innocence had remained.
The years went by, many, many years and life happened. The kids grew up and moved away, we almost died in a terrible car accident, our son did die of brain cancer and then the pandemic. Under the stress, my relationship with wine changed from an innocent time with Martin to relying on wine for all sorts of things. Like numbing the pain of loss, like celebrating, and like something to do during the pandemic lockdowns. So the relationship shifted from enjoyment to reliance. I did not know any of this six months ago. All I knew was that I was drinking more wine than I wanted to drink.
Over the years I had researched, things like cutting back, dry January, 10 day AF and of course AA. I did not identify with being an alchoholic, I drank two or three glasses of wine every day, I did not want to go Alchohol free and take up a hobby ( that sounded grim to me) and I sure did not want to have to white knuckle stopping drinking my beloved wine. So what did I do? Nothing. Just kept on drinking my wine and wishing I could stop. Until……..
Until what??? One day I heard about changing my relationship with wine. Now that was an idea I, a Life Coach could get on board with. That sounded interesting, fun, and doable to me. I was going to get to choose my relationship with wine, not be told by some program or person or some cookie-cutter version of what was right. I figured that in order to understand my relationship with wine, I needed to take a break from it, not a long break just a break. So one evening, six months ago, I stood up and poured my glass of wine back into the bottle. I was taking a four-day break. Doable eh? Four days??? I did not think I was stopping drinking wine. I thought and I still do I was taking a break from it, in order to understand it. I did not actually know what I wanted my relationship with wine to be, but I wanted to find out.
Here is what has happened so far:
I lost 20 lbs. Wine slows down the metabolism, I used to have lots of snacks with wine. Now I just eat three square meals a day.
I sleep 8-9 hours a night, no more waking up at 3:00 and thoughts racing.
I look better, glowing is how I would describe it.
I drink lots of water
I have much more energy
I have saved more or less 3000 dollars
I spend the money on fun things like clothes.
I am in fact healthier, not putting all that alchohol in my body.
I have much more time to do things.
I have much better relationships.
I earn more money.
So these are the results so far on paper so to speak. But these results do not in fact begin to tell the most important part of my story. The truth is, I have Blossomed without wine, into a beautiful version of myself. I am more expansive with myself and others, more tolerant, and more loving. I have more joy, things are just all the way around better on the outside and the inside.
As for my relationship with wine, well I have discovered so much. I was attached to wine, expecting the wine to give me fun, to help me relax, to bring joy to my life and so much more. The truth is that wine did not give me those things. I give me those things. I find the joy, the love, the feelings, I do it, not the wine.
I don’t know, how long my break from wine will be. I know one thing for sure, I never want to ask wine to help me relax, drink it to have fun, or sip it to numb my frustrations or anger. I also know that until such time as I choose to drink wine again, we will stay separated.
As a Life Coach, I help clients find their own relationship with drinking. No rules, no judgments just support, and understanding of what it takes to find your own way.
If you or anyone you know would like help with this. Please reach out. I can be reached at 902-989-6221 or susy@cabaretelifecoaching.com
