Are you your own worst critic? Or are you your own champion? Or does it depend on the situation? Our minds are constantly chattering at us, day and night, that is what minds do after all. Our thoughts come and go, often in rapid fire succession, and more often without our awareness of them. We are so used to it, we don’t stop to evaluate the accuracy, maybe not even realizing how our thoughts are influencing us,
Inner Critic can be a sneaky little bugger. In fact, often, we are not aware of the exact words of Inner Critic, but it shows up in our behavior, like stalling, ambivalence, frustration. This is because Inner Critic is behind the scenes telling us, we are not good enough, or the idea is ridiculous, or impossible and so on. Add to this equation that often Inner Critic shows up in areas of our lives, where we have had life long vulnerabilities, where Inner Critic has dominated us forever without us even knowing it because we believed Inner Critic. Often, but not always, Inner Critic gets a hold of us in Childhood, when we receive messages from others and they become our Inner Critic Messages.
Let me give you an example. I have a client, let’s call him James. James is a bright, handsome, successful architect. James came to me for help with procrastination. James had a life long habit of putting things off, in fact, he had a long list of unfinished tasks and accompanying frustration. James thought he did not have enough time to do things, never enough time. As we explored the situation. James, remembered a time as a child when he tried to fix his bike, his father told him it was a ” stupid” idea doomed to failure. James took his message on as truth. Unknowingly, each time as he approached a tricky task as an adult, Inner Critic jumped right in, calling him stupid, criticizing each idea as ridiculous until James became paralyzed and tasks lay undone. James had no idea this was going on, he did not recognize the Inner Critic because the Inner Critic had been nattering away at him since Childhood.
The great, great news is the Inner Critic is not actually the boss of us. There is another option, Inner Champion! Inner Champion cheers us on, supports us encourages us and wants the best for us. Inner Champion Believes in us. Inner Champion might sound like a loving parent or a loyal friend. For many of us at first Inner Champion might sound at first like a foreign voice, and that’s OK. As adults, we actually get to choose between the Inner Critic and Inner Champion.
Here are 6 Steps to Choosing Inner Champion:
- Develop Awareness of Inner Critic. Observe when and where Inner Critic shows up? What does Inner Critic say? Does Inner Critic have a voice? Does Inner Critic come with an emotion an energy a feeling? Does Inner Critic show up in your body? Just observe with a curious mind where is Inner Critic and what are the messages. Hint, Inner critic often uses black and white thinking and ” you” statements. Like ‘You always fail” for example
2. Develop your own Inner Champion. Observe where in your Life Inner Champion shows up. What does she say? What does Inner Champion sound like? Does Inner Champion have a voice? Is the voice familiar? Where does Inner Champion show up in your body? In your emotions in your feelings in your actions. Just observe where and when Inner Champion shows up.
3. Next time you are faced with self-doubt, stalling, frustration check in with yourself to see if Inner Critic is around. Is this a situation where Inner Critic likes to show up? Inner Critic hangs out for lots of people in new, unknown or challenging situations.
4. Identify, what is Inner Critic saying? What are you afraid of that Inner Critic can bully you with? What feeling are you trying to avoid?
5. What if Inner Critic is Wrong? Look for evidence to dispute what Inner Critic is saying.
6. Bring in Inner Champion. What does Inner Champion say? Look for evidence that supports what Inner Champion is saying.
Back to James, once he was aware that Inner Critic was ruling this part of his life, he was able to recruit Inner Champion. The fact is that James is highly capable and more than able to solve many if not all of the tasks he is faced with. He now recognizes that Inner Critic is a bit of a bully and when he is faced with a challenging task, he recruits his Inner Champion, who reassures him that the task can be done, allowing him to focus on how to get the job done.
Remember you get to choose Inner Critic or Inner Champion
Credits To Kickstart Your Edge Inner Circle for Information about the Inner Critic